long time lover over 50 years,
only one of those.
none of the others would have anything to do with me.
asking myself, any i've overlooked?
by definition there could be. i've overlooked them,
a candidate. no guys. they're done very quickly and let me know
in no uncertain terms to stay away from them
that leaves a small circle of virtual friends, recent friends,
unreal friends.
invest a lot proportionally in them.
Is there an artful moment in the blank between the fullness of dream adventure and the emptiness of the moment awakened?
I hear the roar of the sea still from last night. Resonance from the mouth of the earth, a cavity, even a cave, grotto. To the ear the message is fascinating, full, live. To the microphone and recording, terrible.
To the eye, subtleties of light are fascinating too, and some is retained in a photo. Instantly recognizable, even in a small scene.
2020-11-01, 11pm, 4
Went to the rocks for a shoot. It was much like that special January day in 2019. The sun was within an hour of setting. Instead of the couple being Patti and me as in 2019, the couple this time was young, romantic, taking in the dying rays. They incidentally got into some of my pictures, but do not appear in the model, now 6% generated mesh with nine hours to go. Maybe tomorrow morning when I wake up, there will be a mesh. The power of 150 pictures. This scene is bigger than the one from 2019.
The new scene is 60 feet long by 40 feet wide. I think back to the time I modeled a good chunk of these same rocks, 256 by 256 meters from satellite photos, as I consider how satisfying this one rock and its neighbors will be.
Thinking about maturity recalling when it was once something I absolutely didn't have and now it's maybe the first thing they see as I proceed to act like it's not there
The object of maturity back in the day not ripe
no telling today, still cradled in light fur as it finally became back then
grow up
act your age
make all the right decisions
what are you waiting for
waiting for...
waiting for...
I remember a guy who was mature
a hard Taskmaster from Chicago but given to building extravagant sandcastles at Pismo
and making chummy Christmas cards in a workplace of alienation
amber sunray
window shape on the floor
fire, marigold
calfornia poppy casablanca sandstorm
flame
where is the sun?
oh there, high in the chill gray sky
in the country
fires near us in the few
old growth redwoods we have,
this news smells like it's not going well
smokey, already sheltering in place
'cause of the pandemic
don't come here
the papers say
update...
Wednesday, September 9 was a peculiar dark foggy day. It was still dark at 7:30, brightened somewhat for an hour or so, then grew quite dark by noon. Naked ladies were fluorescent in the dim orangish pinkish light. It was difficult to see in the pasture, though later in the afternoon it brightened somewhat. All the lights were on in the house all day, and people drove with headlights on.
